Curls and Caffeine

How Social Networking Sites Like Myspace and Facebook Make It Impossible to Move On

There are so many websites devoted to keeping in touch with people (your “social network”), what happens when you want to cut ties?

The Internet definitely makes it easier to interact with people, a simple (or Super) poke or comment can keep friendships going despite distance or just plain disinterest. But while it may be it easier to keep up with your friends, it is definitely harder to dodge them.

People grow apart, whether its because of physical distance or changed values, but it takes more than just a few unreturned phone calls these days to end a friendship. Now, you have to “unfriend” them on all your social networking sites, restrict their ability to view your profiles or (like I did) remove your profiles completely.

What is life like without a myspace or facebook? Well, it’s actually not that private. I started this website as a way to share my artwork, but I’ve found it became more of a sanctuary for all the undesirables in my life. Google Analytics provides valuable (and disturbing) data on who is coming to my site, how they’re getting here and how long they stay. There is this nifty map function that has these great big dots on cities where I have ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, or even Andrew’s ex’s (although I can’t really blame them, he’s awesome). While I appreciate that people are reading my poetry and fiction, I definitely wish there was a way to say, “I’m not googling your name, so yeah, don’t.”

It’s not that I don’t want anyone looking at my site (I understand how The Internet works) but I just wish there was a greater piece of my visitor pie that was coming from genuinely interested people, instead of these bizarre past acquaintances.

Indeed, The World Wide Web is a wonderful tool (and one of the few friends I have left). I really hope that my website can make the shift from stalker cesspit to a place where people can read (and hopefully relate to) my work. But I know that doesn’t mean it will be any easier to move through different social circles.

So what is the solution? Andrew thinks we should have a social mechanism to ending friendships - the equivalent of “it’s not you its me” in relationships. He suggested a codeword, “submarine,” that would indicate clearly to both parties that the friendship was over.

I think there should be a “Do Not Call” list for friends, just like there is for telemarketers. So once you register with that list, the applicable former friends are notified of the legal repercussions of contacting you. But of course, these days, it would have to be a broader “Do Not Friend, Message, Comment, Poke, Twit…” proclamation.

Ok, so that may not be the answer. But I’m done fretting over the kind of people who visit my site. In fact, I’ve started a new blag section (blog.ginacacace.com), so stalk away!